Mallerie's Check-up

I don't know why my heart has softened to this new little angel we have in our home. For some reason I have a special tender spot for her in my heart and it feels a little strange. Mallerie received her usual round of shots they get at 2 months. I begged the nurse not to make me hold her arms down while she stuck her 3 times. I started crying even before the first shot was given and didn't stop until after the nurse left the room. She broke out into this cry I have never heard from her little body I couldn't take it I was holding her down while she was being hurt. When I left the office I got into the back of the van sat on the floor nursed Mallerie and cried some more. The wierd thing is I only cried once when my oldest received her 1st shot after that never again. Why can't I handle it now? Is it my age, hormones...I think I have the same ones as I did with the other girls. What is it? Maybe my perspective is different because of the older girls I know what is to come in the near future. Is that why? I think I am really soaking in the tiny version of Mallerie because I know it won't last long I seem to be more tolerant of her crying and the nursing(which takes forever) but seriously... what is up with the tears. I made the next appointment for late in the afternoon so Jason can be in the room when she gets her shots next time and will do so from now on because I don't think it's going to get easier I am getting older each day;)